I have my mega-emo-just-kill-yourself-already-kpop playlist playing now. I have that why-can't-time-just-stop-and-let-me-vanish-into-thin-air-before-anyone-realises feeling. I have the you-are-such-a-fucking-useless-piece-of-shit thought swimming in my head.

School starts tomorrow. I don't really want it to start so soon. I like holidays. I don't feel ready for JC life. I understand now why adults wished they were still kids. I wish I was still 3 too. Dancing in my tutu, watching Disney video tapes all day long, mother-ing my doll Pinky, talking to my maid Susi and my great grandmother, spraying on my Disney Babies cologne, eating Mummy's homecooked food, loving roller coaster rides, having a full and happy family, being the happy-go-lucky me. I feel so lonely at times and I don't recall myself feeling anything like this for all my life. When did I start to think that friends weren't really important, because at the end of the day, you only have yourself? When did I start keeping everything to myself? When did I even start liking to be alone? When did I start walking on the streets looking straight ahead and nothing else? When did I learn to keep a straight face in the bus instead of carrying an easy smile like I used to? In this new school, with a completely different circle of friends, a totally different environment, I think I've shut myself in even more. Will I ever be the old Yanjun again?

So there's this person I got to know on 13/03 through a game of ultimate frisbee. I started taking notice of this person, just because. I got to know this person's name. We were assigned to the same group for a nature walk the next day. We started talking. Because I was pretty much silent and walking alone throughout, this person called me Ms. Loner, and then, asked for my name. We were pretty much walking alongside each other for the rest of the walk. We didn't say goodbye when it ended. I hope that means we'll meet soon. I've been looking forward to go to school this whole holiday. But I haven't had even a glimpse of this person. I wish I knew more than this person's name and CCA.

"I feel if I don't ask chance will pass and I will not see your face again"

I am a loser. ):

After A levels, I'm going to travel the world. I'm going to start saving, now. See you New York, LA, Las Vegas, Korea, Taiwan, Czech, Paris, France, Alaska, New Zealand and the many other countries I have yet to add to my list.

Labels: Life, Travel

17 this year and currently schooling at nyjc. I belong to a chaotic class with truly awesome people (well,mostly). I couldn't care less on what you think about me. I have my fair share of close loved ones: my mother, brother, grandmother, my bestest best friend Danial, the six girls that never fail to make me smile, KTHXBAI! and not to forget my Baby, Bambi, who means the wholefuckingworld to me. And they are all that matter. So either learn to be nice or leave me alone. Idc. Facebook

I have my mega-emo-just-kill-yourself-already-kpop playlist playing now. I have that why-can't-time-just-stop-and-let-me-vanish-into-thin-air-before-anyone-realises feeling. I have the you-are-such-a-fucking-useless-piece-of-shit thought swimming in my head.

School starts tomorrow. I don't really want it to start so soon. I like holidays. I don't feel ready for JC life. I understand now why adults wished they were still kids. I wish I was still 3 too. Dancing in my tutu, watching Disney video tapes all day long, mother-ing my doll Pinky, talking to my maid Susi and my great grandmother, spraying on my Disney Babies cologne, eating Mummy's homecooked food, loving roller coaster rides, having a full and happy family, being the happy-go-lucky me. I feel so lonely at times and I don't recall myself feeling anything like this for all my life. When did I start to think that friends weren't really important, because at the end of the day, you only have yourself? When did I start keeping everything to myself? When did I even start liking to be alone? When did I start walking on the streets looking straight ahead and nothing else? When did I learn to keep a straight face in the bus instead of carrying an easy smile like I used to? In this new school, with a completely different circle of friends, a totally different environment, I think I've shut myself in even more. Will I ever be the old Yanjun again?

So there's this person I got to know on 13/03 through a game of ultimate frisbee. I started taking notice of this person, just because. I got to know this person's name. We were assigned to the same group for a nature walk the next day. We started talking. Because I was pretty much silent and walking alone throughout, this person called me Ms. Loner, and then, asked for my name. We were pretty much walking alongside each other for the rest of the walk. We didn't say goodbye when it ended. I hope that means we'll meet soon. I've been looking forward to go to school this whole holiday. But I haven't had even a glimpse of this person. I wish I knew more than this person's name and CCA.

"I feel if I don't ask chance will pass and I will not see your face again"

I am a loser. ):

After A levels, I'm going to travel the world. I'm going to start saving, now. See you New York, LA, Las Vegas, Korea, Taiwan, Czech, Paris, France, Alaska, New Zealand and the many other countries I have yet to add to my list.

Labels: Life, Travel

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